You know you've got a great staff when....

You walk out the door to go to dinner together and find this!

She's a Man Eater

I was called a "man eater" today.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.

No. I am sure.

It pissed me off.

And scared me.

Cuz it might be true - however unintentional it is.

My High Sierra Getaway

To My High Sierra friends and family:

I cannot thank you enough for a weekend of laughter, tears, food, fun and memories. I love each of you dearly and was so thank you for the chance to come running back into your arms. Keep up the good work. Your place is secure in my heart. Here's hoping we can do it again soon!

With love and longing,

Meredith

The Date Adventure

Thanks to the 5 people who voted a few weeks ago on what my new post should be, I will now be sharing my thoughts on dating.  First, I think you need to know that when it comes to online dating I was one of the original skeptics. I never wanted my story to be "we met online." I believed that God was bigger than that and that no matter how old I got he could figure out a way to bring someone into my life without my having to more or less place an ad for how incredibly amazing I am, (your words at some point, I'm sure of it, not mine).

But now I'm 28. I've lived in the heart of Colorado Springs, the suburbs of Seattle, the coast of Orange County and the mountains of California. And I am still single. Does this mean that my faith in God's ability to bring someone into my life to love and cherish has diminished? Certainly not. For all the questions I have about God, I'm beginning to realize that there is one idea I have about him that is absolutely essential to my faith: God does not change.  If I cannot believe that than I can't claim to be a Christ follower. For me, that is the cornerstone of my faith. Without it, everything tumbles.

So, since my big God does not change, I must then look at the rest of the equation, and right now, that's me. I realized awhile ago that my abhorrence of online dating had nothing to do with how big God is but how tightly I was trying to control the situation. Essentially, I was giving God lip service by saying he didn't need to use online tools but limiting the ways I would allow him to work in my life by not offering him every tool in the toolbox. Oh me of little faith. I sure put on a good show sometimes that I even fool myself.  When does God ever follow the plan we give him for our lives?

So anyway, I am now firmly planted in the world of online dating, for better or worse. But I think it's for better. (Surely, there are moments of worse... especially if you've ever heard my Hairy Potter horror story with Mr. Toots-His-Own-Horn. But I was younger then and didn't know myself, either). I have profiles posted on two different websites: Plenty of Fish, which is free, and though it's a little creepy at first, has some quality guys on it, and Match.com, where I have earned 6 months free because in 6 months I have not met someone special.  I have fully embraced the fact that I am a successful, happy and confident 28 year old women who is at home in the wilderness but loves her romantic comedies. And, I can also admit that I just might be scared to death of actually meeting someone after all of these years, but we'll get to that in a bit.

First, I need to tell you why I am a fan of dating... whether it's online or otherwise. With dating comes coffee, conversation, drinks, hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range and losing track of time and suddenly realizing you were supposed to be somewhere else 5 minutes ago. There's filet mignon, hockey games from the 2nd row, smiles, laughter and awkward pauses. With dating there are comments like, "you're much cuter in person" or "you are something unexpected." It can build your confidence and it can make you cringe two seconds later. Dating forces you to learn to figure out what you are feeling and how to communicate it effectively. Dating reminds you that for all the weird ones that are out there, there are some gems mixed in, as well. And though you may not end up with that gem, you can appreciate the good that you see there and it ads to your overall view of humanity.  Dating makes you wonder, it distracts you, it exasperates you, infuriates you, confuses you. It allows you to stroll along a river bank and view the fall colors you never would have seen on your own. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry, and most of the time, it really makes you wonder about yourself, about someone else and about God.  When you put it all together, dating simply makes you feel alive.

So I may not have found "the one" yet. I know he's out there, so until he comes along, I'll have my picture online and my eyes open to the people who come in and out of my life. Maybe I'll meet someone online, or maybe one day my friends will actually follow through and hook me up with this great guy they know. It may even be a guy that my mom sets me up with (and I mean that in the most loving way), who knows! But until then, I won't be afraid to meet someone for drinks or lunch or flying a kite. I'll learn to trust my instincts and not feel bad for saying no and I'll learn to open up and give more people a chance. But most of all, I'll enjoy the life that I get to live, no matter what the day (or date) brings.

And as for being scared to death of actually finding love, well that's the cynic in me. That's the girl who's fighting through the thoughts that she's not good enough to be loved. The girl who has spent 28 years watching everyone else fall in love but her. It's the girl who has learned to protect her heart by putting herself first and seeking the next best thing: her own comfort.  More as much as I enjoy dating, love itself is an entirely different ball game. Love requires a sacrifice I have not yet had to give and that scares me. It requires an abandonment of me to an agenda that is not my own. So yeah, that scares me. But if it comes... when it comes... I'll face it.

But in the meantime, I'll enjoy the journey, one date at a time.

Calling on an old friend

What can you really blog when it's been months since you posted anything legitimate? I know those (2) of you who still check here are hoping to catch up on what's going on with me. The sad thing is, sometimes I don't know what's going on with me. So instead of writing and rewriting a long post, I call on an old friend who once summed it up rather nicely:

The sun sinks low
and here I go
wrestling with questions that refuse an answer
this path of faith
can be a place
so barren of what I understand
I can hear
the voice of fear
saying let me show you another way
so I cry out my Lord Jesus
It's in your love for me I find all that I need

So where else could turn
and where else could I go
you have given me life
you have made me whole
you have rescued my soul
so where else could I go for I am found in you

I may not see in front of me
But I can see for miles when I look over my shoulder
and Lord it's clear
You've brought me here
so faithful every step of the way
What can I do but follow you
For you are the Way, the Truth, the Life
So I cry out my Lord Jesus
it's in your love for me
that I find all that I need

So where else could turn
and where else could I go
you have given me life
you have made me whole
you have rescued my soul
so where else could I go for I am found in you

All I've been made for so there is nowhere else I could go
I am found in you
found in you

~Steven Curtis Chapman "I Am Found in You"

I know, I know

I've got tons of post that should go before this one, but I'll get to those later.

Tomorrow marks Freshmen Move-In Day here at Whitworth which signals the begging of the year and the end of my crazy RD training then RA training schedules. While I have enjoyed my time at Whitworth so far, seeing my staff bring everything all together these last few days has really helped to remind me why I love my job so much. They are an amazing group of students and I look forward to working with them day in and day out - running together towards the things that scare us most. This year is sure to be a challenge, but I have complete confidence in my staff and their ability to achieve the mission of building community and growing adults.

So here's to the Arend Hall Student Leadearship Team 2009-2010!!

Ramon

Meet Ramon

Four times a week, Ramon helps me remember just how old and decrepit I am. He stands witness to the decay that my body has fallen into as he watches me struggle through 55 minutes of training. For the first three weeks he kept "scaling it back" because apparently, my back and neck have managed to do all the work that my butt and abs should have been doing. In my initial fitness review, I scored "poor" or "below" average in 5 out of the 6 categories. My best score was in push ups, which I scored "excellent." My worst, was flexibility (shocker!) in which I scored so far below "poor" that I was 5 points off the scale. Now, after 4 weeks with Ramon at Fitness Together, I think my body just might be figuring out how to do things right.

Of course, this is not accomplished without ample amounts of stretching. I may be agile, but flexible is a LONG way off. And I'm pretty sure I hear a deep tissue massage calling my name.

So here's to Ramon. In 4 more weeks he just might have me whipped into shape for the fall soccer season. And if not... well, you can't blame a guy for trying. At least he could make me laugh at 8:15 in the morning when no one should be out of bed, save for the occasional tornado warning, nuclear attack or free breakfast giveaway at Chik-fil-A.